previous blogs

I had an interesting discussion with someone regarding blogs yesterday. There is this site where I used to read some pretty deep postings, this guy was not shy about posting his thoughts about the world/war/work, in fact, some of the writings regarding his spiritual journey was an inspiration to me when I read them years back.

I have not read Bman's blogs for a while now, out of curiousity, I browsed through his last few months' archives, and read about his daily lives and basically what he ate for breakfast. =) However, I was a little disappointed that deeper spiritual contents are missing!

Caribbean cruise I

This is a post-entry for my recent family Caribbean cruise trip: ( - partial entry, rest TBD... )

Time: December 8-18, 2005
Ship: Norwegian Spirit - ex. Super Star Leo
Itinerary: Caribbean map

• - St. Thomas & St. John, US Virgin Islands (12/11)
• - Antigua (12/12)
• - Barbados (12/13)
• - Sint. Maarten (Dutch) / Saint-Martin (France) (12/14)
• - Tortola & Virgin Gorda, British Virgin Islands (12/15)

Flight
I have to admit that the flight part of this trip was very tedious. I took a redeye flight to NYC on Wed. (12/07), given the temperature differences between CA and NYC, with a stop at the even colder Chicago, I was not dressed warm enough. Even worse is my return flight from the Caribbeans, my entire flight back was 22+ hrs including a 7 hour stop over at JFK! I was definitely very very tired by the time I got back to SFO.

However, the short flight between B.V.I. and SJU happens to be one of the most memorable on this trip. B.V.I. had some light shower earlier, so the floor of the airport is wet, and it glistened like a mirror. The EIS airport has an outdoor style, we board the small plane via the staircase instead of the usual terminal style. I took these pictures that show the plane between the blue sky in the background and the light reflection on the ground. After we took off, I looked down and saw the tiny island surrounded by light blue water, with strips of beige sand and white foam on its fringes. Then I saw the most beautiful rainbow of my life -- what do you think a rainbow looks like from the sky?

Beauty

My favourite island port call is Sint. Maarten/St. Martin. The ride from Philipsburg on the Dutch side to the Oriental bay on the French side is incredibly scenic. But my best beach experience during this whole trip happened on the little uninhabited island of Ilet Pinel, which is only 1 km away from the Oriental bay. In fact, I think one can just swim/walk across the shallow sand bar! (I attemped about 2/3 the way across just snorkeling around =)

The day started when we arrived on Sint. Maarten by water ferries from our mega-cruise boat. Due to some special circumstances, I was able to get on one of the earliest boat thus saving myself a significant amount of waiting time. =) I shared a taxi with a Mexican couple to the Oriental beach, they requested a guided island tour so I also tagged along and was able to see some vista points and took some scenic island photos.

At the Oriental beach, a freakishly skinny and tan blonde French guy mis-understood my instructions, and I benefited from it by getting an extra round trip on a jetski to the Ilet Pinel =D That's all before I got onto the yacht cruising around the bay, and had my very first parasailing experience. It's surprisingly easy, all this time I thought it's an extreme water sport. But as the wind lifted me up into the air, the surrounding became quiet. The wind takes us high up into the sky, people and houses are tiny from this distance. Looking up, there's the cloudless blue sky, and the azure ocean under my feet. It's very quiet and lonely up there, I feel nothing except a light breeze brushing past. Although I was strapped into the harness, but I feel light and I got a glimpse at the flying sensation. (maybe I will try sky-diving or hang-gliding next time.) I think "serenity" is the most appropriate description for this experience.

After parasailing, I was jet-skied across the crystal clear waters towards the white sandy beach of the tiny uninhabited island of Ilet Pinel again. I lifted up a handful of the finest white sand, and watched on as tiny streams of sand slipped out between my fingers and scattered into the light wind. The weather is warm, but the sun light does not leaving a burning sensation on my skin like in CA. I walked across the fine white sandy beach, picked a nice spot and popped open my convenient cabana.

I proceeded to snorkel towards the shallow reef area closeby. Then the most incredible snorkel experience of my life happened... I met a really nice local tour guide, he gave me a handful of these "fish food" and that resulted in schools and schools of various types of fishes surrounding us constantly! I wish I had my under-water camera with me at the time, it's like being inside the huge water tank at the Monterey Aquarium, only hundred times better because of the colorful tropical fishes and the reef underneath!

Christmas 2005

This Christmas is different. I didn't plan anything in advance and had to come into work during shutdown week, thus I had a rather peaceful long weekend. Originally I intended to use this time for house cleaning, but it turns out that I didn't do much physical cleaning, rather a lot of introspection leading to spiritual/emotional/mental cleansing instead.

GrX had a great candle light Christmas day service, Pastor Dave preached on the subject of "A Christmas Like No Other" based on passages from Matt 1:18-22. I have to admit that we have a great worship team! Bobby's team is incredible! We sang several contemporary Christian songs including some of my favourites: "Here I am to Worship" - Tim Hughes, "How Great is our God" - Chris Tomlin, and "Salvation is here"... I feel truly bathed in God's awesomeness when I sing along with the members in the congregation. Salvation is here indeed!

One thing that really left me pondering long after the end of the service is his concept of a "self quake": it happens when the very foundation of our lives are shaken to the core. Things we normally consider innate to our value system, such as reputation, approval, identity, dignity, and self-confidence, and "personal rights", etc., all those things may be shaken during our pursuit of God. (here is a link to GrX sunday messages)

===

Looking back, 2005 has been quite a year for me: a lot of things happened, yet a lot of things didn't really change. I think I've experienced several mental growth spurts that hopefully will lead me to become a stronger and better person for the rest of my life. Maturity is not usually attained without growing pains. Since the start of my summer mission trip to Mongolia, I have met a continuous stream of new people, and as a collective whole, they have introduced new ideas, and forced me to see things in fresh perspectives. I think because I tend to select friends who are similar to me, I have been caught up in a perpetual cycle of reaffirming my own beliefs, and never bothered to stop and step aside to evaluate things from a different angle. I guess that is why teenagers are "young and impressionable", whereas adults are usually set in their own ways, stubborn because they have stopped learning and changing so fast.

I had a chance to read "Le Petit Prince" again recently. It's an amazing book because every time I read it, I learn something new, and I understand something a little better. It's still my favourite book, and I still do believe in the naive and innocent ways portrayed in this book. However, I now also understand that life is multifaceted. Things in the real world are not as clear cut or B&W; absolute right and wrong do still exist in principle, but there are a lot of gray areas that require individual judgment calls. Things like "Amor vincit omnia - Love conquers all" are still mostly true to a certain extent, but it does get complicated by other human factors in life. In a recent conversation JKB compared life to a game of chess: both are impossibly complex; and no one can calculate all the way to the end no matter how good they are. We should just take it one step at a time, see how things develop and react to the best of our cabilities and knowledge. Perfect information leads to perfect decisions, but life is not perfect, and we will have to learn to deal with it when things don't turn our our way... reminds me of what someone else told me a long time ago: "c'est la vie"..

I have had many quiet moments to introspect and reflect on developments in my life in recent years. Life for me before work was easy and predictable: I knew where I stood, where I was going, and what my goals were. All I had to do was follow a relatively simple formulaic line to arrive at where I wanted to be. But as I became more and more independent in my mid-to-late twenties, I learned that I must make a lot of choices on my own now, and that the end results are not always obvious at the time of decision. I have also learned a lot of things through human interactions, instead of through set formulas and lectures as I did back in school. (Arh, I wish life were as simple as those straightforward problem sets; they could be difficult, yet there's always a clearly defined solution at the end).

I recall a vague dream last night, where I compared everyone in this world to some kind of a chemical element: they all carry a different number of proton/neutron/electrons, which give them unique properties and varied stabilities. When people meet they interact in unpredictable ways: they may attract, repel, or bond, but one thing for certain is that everyone leaves some sort of an impact on others they've met and interacted with. These chemical reactions change the individual elements themselves, perhaps in fundamental ways. Some of the interactions are minimal and quickly forgotten, yet others leave indelible marks in one's journey. Life is full of dynamism, causality, and consequences: each individual one meets is an unknown variable. This fascinatingly complex situational equation is the ultimate Gordian knot.

Evil things to do while your co-workers are on vacation ...

luckily, this didn't happen to me...

the Caribbean dream

why do I ever want to leave this place?
will repost with text + pics later. (tbd)... =)

NYC: 27° F

I was in a half slumber when I arrivte in Chicago at 5:40am, the second I walked onto the Jetbridge, I go "Arrhhh!!..." (involuntarily shaking) ==> it's Cold, FReeZiNG COLD!! Now I am totally awake and I can now see my breath! and both Chicago and NYC are already covered in snow! (urrh... shuttering)

I guess I have become a CA-transplant, can't remember how I survived those harsh winters in Boston, (now to you EC ppl, that's especially since I lived at Next house)..

British spelling

's' vs 'z' - apologise

'our' vs 'or' - colour, favourite,

're' instead of 'er' - theatre

'bloody'?

Someone has noted that I tend to lean towards using the British way of spelling things, maybe I was from HongKong? but that's simply not true, I learned my English here in the States (ESL class in Junior HS.. =) I think I read some classical English literature in HS, that's the time period when I was absorbing the language, thus that might be why I tend to use the British spelling on some common words.

someone taught me that "judgment" is the correct spelling, and not "judgement"!! can you believe that?

The fateful journey of a pineapple ...

So I am determined to tell the story of this "fresh, golden, juicy, ripe, aromatic and cute pineapple".

One day, I saw the pineapple at the market, it looks so fresh and juicy that I had to find a reason to buy it. Even though I normally do enjoy fresh pineapples, but I don't really know how to cut it. The story is a recount of my numerious attempts at eating the pineapple and it finally disappeared, leaving me still drooling after it ...

First I decided to bring it to my GrX sg as a dessert, but Thurs. night I had to stay late at work thus I didn't have time to go home to pick it up. People who saw my evite response promising to bring a yummy fresh dessert were disappointed.

Then I wanted to share it with a friend on Sat. over lunch, but we ended up eating out.
Sat. night I went to a house party and because I had to bring up the other stuff first, I forgot it in the car and didn't realize it until the party ended. Maybe it's just not meant to be eaten?

Ok, Sunday I was signed up for snack for 1 John bible study at church, this time I made sure that I brought the pineapple with me inside. However, it sat there on the table since nobody had the time to cut it before the class started, nor could I find a big knife right away. It sat there staring back at the crowd, while the veggie and sandwiches around it were being consumed at a constant pace. I thought I saw it laugh at my numerous failed attempts.

After the study, kc commented that "someone will eat it eventually!" So what do I do? I bring it to the next social gathering that night: my combined early BDay party with ジョシさん. While hanging out at dechen's apt, he found a knife in the drawer, --> anticipation! But then I got too involved in a game that was happening in the next room with a few friends. By the time I came back to the living room, the pineapple has vanished!!!

Arrh... I think it's probably sitting in heaven, and all the angels are chuckling at me for my silly affinity to this "fresh, golden, juicy, ripe, aromatic and cute" pineapple... well, one always longs for what one cannot reach, right? LOL

===

btw, I was eager to part ways with the pineapple was because I am heading out to the Caribbean on a cruise with my parents tonight! I stayed up all night (really!) finishing up the project at hand, and am much at ease now knowing that my USB tool will be functional and utilized during my absence.
Problem during packing though: NYC is barely in the 30F while the Caribbean is in the 70-80F range.. (Umm... tank tops + down jacket??)

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too cool to not be passed onto other. (thanks to lpchao for forwarding this to me =) cool_illusion

Quantity < Quality

Hanging out after church service has always been one of those "hit or miss" for me. What I meant by that is, some times I get to see friends whom I haven't talked to for a while, and we do catch up, have meaningful conversations, and really do care about what happens in each other's lives; other times, when I search the crowd but don't see anyone I feel close to, or if I am running around doing "errands" (ie. returning stuff, hand off stuff, setup, then I don't really get to have "real" conversations.

Since last week, GrX started a class of in-depth bible study on 1 John. I am really enjoying it as I've been longing for strong spiritual leadership in bible study, as well as quality discussion topics with friends. Apparently, I am not alone in how I feel about this "quatity" vs "quanlity" face time issue.

pandy was in my discussion group, and he mentioned that every Sunday, if he can have one meaningful conversation with someone, then he's satisfied in his spiritual hunger for fellowship. There's an unspoken rule that in casual social settings, one is supposed to "rotate" amongst the crowd every 2 minutes. But he'd much prefer to really converse with one or two individuals instead of waving ten "Hello"s after service. wow, well, this makes my meaningful conversation this Sunday. =)

Meanwhile, in a totally separate conversation, fj also mentioned the same topic in regards to small groups. "I'd much prefer to have 5-7 dedicated people rather than 12 non-consistent 'floaters' in my small group. I think in the beginning, consistency is key in getting to know people beyond the initial familiarity stage." Truly words of wisdom . I am sure God will bless you regarding the future direction of the SG!

winter rain 冬雨

the winter has finally arrived, i realized that when the weather turned chilly around the ThanksGiving holidays; it started to rain daily since then. i took out my JP pink umbrella again, remember the last time i used it? 回忆
sitting in front of my new "picture frame" window, sipping on a cup of steamy hot McCoffee, in total silence, i am enjoying both the aroma as well as the warm wishes it came with from across the seven seas... 温馨
since my coworker quit last week, the space suddenly seems cold and empty. i open my shades and peer out, from the second floor i can see from the trees all the way out to the bay wetlands. all veiled in a thin layer of misty drizzle. watching the world through the water droplets on the glass, it seems so unreal and i couldn't help but remember the oil paintings i last saw at the 大英museum. i sit silently in the dark, the room lit only by the glare from the screen, and i wonder what the oncoming holiday season holds?? 期待

winter , rain, drizzle ... cold .. sentimental ...
寒冬。漂雨。落寞。伤感。寒くなりましたね。寂しい　。。。

Language arts & Learning Japanese

I never fully appreciated this when I was growing up, but to master multiple languages gives one the advantage of being more expressive, and more tools to deliver the precise meanings. There are things and sentiments that could be expressed more appropriately/subtly 含蓄 in a different language (or fine, I am just not that great at any given one then =).. certain phrases just can't be translated exactly and still deliver the precise meaning between languages. csleeさん's blog demonstrated that combining languages in writing is more expressive and can be more artful. (thank goodness that I know Kanji)

Now I have 5 keyboard inputs installed covering CN(sp-PY), JP, EN(qw), EN(dv), and CN(td). um. can anyone show me the input method for Chinese traditional characters?

The difficult part about studying Japanese is the grammar and correct usage of various forms. Japanese is truly a very complex language, here is why:

• onion's levels of polite forms: we are initiated into the language with the most basic neutral distant forms. But when I was in JP and talking with JP friends, our exchange include the intimate forms of verb and phrases. Then the FH 先生 scolds me and ジョシさん　for not utilizing the more polite form during class dialogues. Plus we also have to know at least a few 敬語 respectable forms. All this and not to mention average JP person doesn't even know how to speak the Emperial court form or the ancient forms themselves (thank goodness we don't have to learn those either).
• 3 types of writing, 2+reading systems: ひらがな is obviously the easiest and most straight forward, just like in English, it's phonetic, so one either knows the word or doesn't, but can at least pronounce it; カタカナ is difficult for me because the JP-nglish just does't sound right, plus they don't always translate the foreign consonent/vowls into カタカナ in a consistent manner, not to mention カタカナ covers like ALL foreign imported words; finally the 漢字 which I luv because I can understand the meaning of it without knowing the word in JP, but the difficult part is pronounciation. They can go either CN way or JP way, plus the sound may change a little bit according to the other characters preceding or following it!! not to mention that some times the meaning of the word has changed in the past few hundred years (ie: 大丈夫) leading to some hilarious misunderstandings；then the JP people either miscopied or invented their own CN characters which doesn't exist, and カタカナ takes form from random CN character sides .... enough complications now?
  
• "Yes be Yes, and No be Yes": this is not only limited to JP language, it's just subtlety in general speaking, but the Japanese people take it to the extend that they hardly ever use the word いいえ. I have to interpret the answer based on the situation, the speaker's culture background, their personality (maybe) and determine if that's a true Yes or false positive.
• conjugations^3: they change the verb, adj, and forms a *tiny* bit for every single form, past/present/future, can, try, polite, noun-ify, become, and, either, all inclusive. I am just amazed at the variety of grammatical form changes.
• Subtlety: Everything is said in such a circumventive way in this culture that it takes me a while just to process the full sentence: first strip out the noun, verb, adj., then conjugate like 10^6 times before I count the pairs of neg-neg or pos-neg. When unsure, assuming that the speaker is asking a question か??
• "You" are forbidden!: When in English, it's considered rude to talk to someone as if they are not present. But in JP it's the standard, ie: chat with ジョシさん: "Oh, ジョシさん, how's the past weekend?" "blah blah". "ジョシさん's having a lot of work lately?" "yes/no/whatever" "isn't ジョシさん having a tough time, how does he feel?" "yes/no/whatever" "Life is hard for　ジョシさん ." --> only usage of U I've heard in the JP drama is when a wife refers to her husband!
  
• confirmation to the extreme: Just *how many* times do I have to repeat myself or the other person? scenario: A says "blah blah." --> B reply "ee え, blah blah?" --> A goes "yes, blah blah." --> B confirms "Ja じゃ, blah blah Ne　ね?" --> A affirms "hai はい, blah blah Yo　よ." 　(get the point?!)
  

For the above listed reasons and my unperceptive nature, I think I will never be able to master the JP language, that said, it doesn't stop me from enjoying the manga/drama/movie/Jpop, burst out in short set phrases and indulge in the childish speak though. Thank goodness that I know 漢字 so at least my reading comprehension isn't so bad.. 　難しい　

1 year Relationships?

don't know why, but everyone's posting relationship related articles this week... all pointing to 1 year as a rough timeline? I will just list the links here:
Luv Molecules -- there's one article he's linked to and another story forwarded from the "usual suspects" on BBC NEWS: Romantic love 'lasts just a year'

Sudoku

I'm totally hooked, this is addictive!! it's so silly that we chose to play Sudoku until 2 am instead of finishing the JP action film. (I also chose to play Settlers instead of midnight madness shopping last week =).

Arrh... first real life encounter of a NP-complete problem!! jm - Evil level challenge? (I have a long long flight ahead ;) next thing is to try to beat the clock!