Christian fellowship

I noticed that GrX people really like the song "Marvelous Light" because they sing it during SG and services a lot. This happens to be one of my favourite Christian songs as well, especially the chorus part, it always touches my heart whenever I hear it:

Into marvelous light I'm running,
Out of darkness, out of shame.
By the cross you are the truth,
You are the life, you are the way

Lift my hands and spin around,
See the light that i have found.
Oh the marvelous light
Marvelous light

It's already been 6 weeks since fall launch started, yet I am still SG-less. This past weekend I asked myself why? what is it that I am looking for? And the answer came to me during my weaker moments. I caught a cold last weekend, which rendered me both physically and emotionally weak. As I lay in bed last night, drained from the week of off-site training and Halloween weekend fiascals, I really wanted to talk to someone, about some current personal struggles. Then it occured to me that during times of need, the first few people that came to mind are not my Christian friends from church. This is extremely bothersome because I wanted to establish more solid Christian friendships where I can turn to them and share my burdens as well as praises. Yet scrolling through my phone list, I didn't feel comfortable enough to talk to anyone, neither am I confident that anyone would bother/want to listen to me. There are a few people I talk to on a regular basis, but mostly it's about their problems, other people's situations; like in a study group, we try to learn from each other and through other people's examples. But I think I have this "glass wall" within me that prevents me from opening up to them in the other direction!

I took a few hours off this morning due to physical fatigue, and really prayed to God calling out for help. I am so glad that I still have some non-Christian friends I can trust and fall back upon. But where do I begin to build the Christian fellowship and community of support? That is what I was hoping for in a close-knit small group community. I feel so alone some times during my spiritual journey, and am so in need of spiritual encouragement and discipleship. I came to the realization that I am not as strong as I thought I was, and deep inside, everyone has their own "broken moments". It's during those down times when true friendship and fellowship comes through.

Listening to the "All In" message during Sunday service, it striked a cord with the biggest lesson I learned over the summer, about taking risks and putting all concerns behind and go "All In" with our precious, in our case, it's time! Maybe I should be more pro-active in first learn to care for others, maybe I need to take a step forward and be more trusting, maybe I should take the initial risk in opening up to others, maybe God will answer my prayers and speak to me through other pious Christian friends... I wish I could feel the enlightenment I felt during my summer missions trip again!

Consuming Fire

Consuming Fire -- Tim Hughes

There must be more than this
oh breath of God come breath within
There must be more than this
Spirit of God we wait for you
Fill us anew we pray
Fill us anew we pray

Consuming Fire
Fan into flame
a passion for your name
Spirit of God fall in this place
Lord have your way
Lord have your way with us

Come like a rushing wind
Fill us with power from on high
Now set the captives free
leave us abandoned to your praise
Lord let your glory fall
Lord let your glory fall

Artistic Photographers

I've always admired those artists who have the "mind's eye" for landscape photography. They are able to capture the serenity and beauty. I also favor B/W photography, maybe it had to do with my upbringing around Chinese style painting at an early age. I think there is a surrealistic quality to a B/W print, the lack of color distraction and the strong contrast brings out the main theme better and sets the scene in a melancholy mood. Here is a list of photographers whose work I find fascinating:

- Ansel Adams - my fav. photographer since college days (I used to have Prints-Plus posters all over my dorm wall)

- Peter Lik - Australian landscape photographer (I stumbled upon his gallery in SF's Pier 39 a few years ago, and have fallen for his use of vibrant colors, even though I am usually a Sepia/B/W kind of person)

- Patrick di Fruscia - emerging Canadian artist, he has the gift from God.

- Even though I usually am not really into portraits, this is a captiviating image; this amazing white-on-white high-key portrait shot is even more captivating!

- I am so amazed that I found the photographer (Phil Greenspun) as well as the series of works on the Alaska bears that I've grown so fond of in recent years. I had seen posters of this picture in the lab downstairs, and have always wondered where it came from!

This is a site founded by Dr. Philip Greenspun, and I visit often for viewing excellent works: http://www.photo.net/photodb/photo-of-the-week/

Please feel free to email/comment and discuss your favorite artists/works, I always enjoy looking at stunning photographs!

20 Random Facts

tagged by "linkhan" again, so here goes:

1 - I was born in Shanghai, and I have lived in NM, TX, NY, MA, and now CA. Currently list NY as "Hometown" because my parents live there. I'd imagine one day, *Home* is where my heart will be. =)

2 - I have pretty much covered most of the major travel destinations in US, but I'm always up for more road trips.

3 - I went to Europe 4 times in 18 months. I had fallen in and out of luv w//in certain countries, and I dream to return there soon.

4 - Hobbies: I am into quite a few things, but not really a master at any. =( One of my passions in life is to travel and see the world. Other hobbies include landscape photography, arts and crafts (yes, I have worked on various projects), reading, hiking on a trail with beautiful views, watch anime, and sleeping ...

5 - Shanghainese is what I speak at home, I am fluent and literate in Mandarin Chinese (simplified and traditional), English (though I often make grammatic errors, as you can see while reading my juvenile blog. =) I studied a year of Spanish in Junior HS (all forgotten). I had to study a year of Japanese at Harvard for an internship later in Tokyo; now I am trying my best to retain the language through evening classes. Knowing Chinese really helped with my Japanese though.

6 - A perfect Saturday for me would be to curl up in a big, soft, comfy Papasan under a brightly lit window (or in a breezy garden), an interesting novel/non-fiction in hand, and a freshly brewed pot of green tea, along with a small plate of sweets nearby... (alarm clock not necessary).

7 - I like to do repetitive tasks since it relaxes me, and I am a big day dreamer! That must be why I enjoy the childish Japanese anime series "Fushigi Yugi".

8 - Muffin top is a preference, but I am not a picky eater, I will still eat the stumps, as well as my vegetables... =) "Oh yeah. It's the best part. It's crunchy, it's explosive, it's where the muffin breaks free of the pan and sort of does it's own thing. - Seinfeld"

9 - I used to think that German food and British fare are the worst, that is, until I experienced typical Mongolian meals. Mongolian food tops the chart in worst gastronomy! That is a good place if you are on a diet though, you just won't have the appetite to eat anything, Period.

10 - I think I am ENTP (maybe borderline on S/N, T/F)

11 - I want to write and publish a children's picture book one day.

12 - I used to track 4 time zones on my travel clock.

13 - Recently I learned to do cube roots of 9 digit numbers in my head!

14 - I am better at baking than cooking (though that's not saying much =), and most of what I can cook are Chinese dishes.

15 - I don't drink alcoholic drinks, and the only soft drink I really enjoy is an ICY cold glass bottled Coka-Cola!

16 - I was told that I am about the only Chinese person who uses the dish washer regularly. And I'd luv to get a schedulable Roomba to vacuum my floors.

17 - I luv "cubing", 3^3, 4^3, 5^3 Rubik's Professor cubes, and all sorts of puzzles in general. ==> geeky!

18 - some random favorites - color: Periwinkle; fruit: mango; movie: Star Wars V; stop-animation: Wallace & Gromit; anime movie: Graves of Fireflies; sculpture: Canova's Cupid &Psyche, Louvre; PS2 Game: DDR && Time Crisis II && Grand Tourismo; Xbox: Halo; Silly game: Mine Sweeper; board games: Settlers (strategy) && GO(ancient); food: Japanese (or other Asian cuisine); drinks: H2O && green tea; cartoon character: Doraemon --> sweets: dorayaki; pizza: NY thin crust; burger: Moss Burger && In-N-Out; Ice Cream: B&J Cherry Garcia; children's book: Le Petit Prince && Winnie-the-Pooh; camping: Banff NP; most out of this world experience: dawn upon Miyajima as the morning fog retreats && stargazing and sunrise at Mt. Haleakala; book: the list goes on...

19 - My list of future travel destinations: Petra, Prague, Seychells, the Holy See, cruise in the Mexian Rivera, cruise in the Caribean, Italy - Rome, Florence, Venice, Thailand - Bangkok, ChingMai, Cambodia, Greece - Mediterranean, Egypt, Australia - Great Barrier Reef, Ayers rock, New Zealand, north of the Arctic circle to see the aurora borealis and experience "Insomnia" days, Lichtenstein, Argentina - Bueno Aires, Peru - Machu Picchu, Spain - Alicante, Barcelona, Fiji, Tibet, India, Nepal ... and CHINA most of all, I am not Chinese until I've climbed the Great Wall and seen the Forbidden palace, as well as terracota soldiers, and Gui Ling!

20 - Of course one's first love is God, but God aside, the person I appreciate the most in this world is my dearest mother! Over the years, I have matured and realized how much she has sacrificed for me in the past, and how deeply she truly loves me. There is not a single doubt that she will be the last one there for me when the rest of the world fades away. =)

It took me sooo long to complete this, I am going to do a blank tag: If you are reading this and have not done it already, you are TAGGED! And let me know when you finish your 20 random facts (blog or email me).

reposts from friends' blogs

--- meih ---
"are you a thermostat or a thermometer?" does your mood depend on circumstances (thermometer)? or are you being renewed daily by the Holy Spirit so you can set the tone (thermostat).

the verse i meditated on this morning: 1 Cor. 15:2 By this gospel you are saved, if you hold firmly to the word I preached to you. Otherwise, you have believed in vain.

--- jojo --- :: Q&A ::
Q: Do you think we can build deep and meaningful relationships in small group by meeting with small group 3 hours each week?
A: No
Q: What do you think is the secret sauce?
A: You can systematically encourage non-trivial friendship, but you can�t force it. Personally, I always think it�s best to let it be ad-hoc.
Q: So it would be highly dependent on the people in the group?
A: Yes.
Q: How can u tell if there is a good chance u can develop non-trivial friendships with the people in the group? Will you really know or are you just taking a chance?
A: ?

so I have been puzzling over this SG thing recently.. the more I visit the more I am confused... sigh. :( so what's the answer to the last Q?


--- quote: ---
badxmaru: how to score chicks in silicon valley
learn to do cube roots of 9 digit numbers in your head!
think about it, the next cocktail party you're at, you say, "hey babe, give me any 9 digit number and i'll give you the nearest cube root."
she gives it to you, and you give her back the number. Then she gives you her numbers, and you go to the next girl.

Pinball's pessimism

I casually asked ("Pinball") "how's life?", below is a direct quote from my friend's response:

"(blah blah) ... You know, this whole thing about meeting someone to love and marry and be with for the rest of your life sure is complicated. (blah blah) ...... Life is never good. How can it be? We have many expectations and only on our deathbed will we concede our happiness was never what we expected it to be."

well, P: I hope you will find your happiness before you are on the deathbed.. =) and congrats to your sis!

Scars & Growing Pains

When we are born into this world, everyone's a little perfect creation from God. However, as time goes on, we start to collect marks on our body -- Scars. They sit there as witnesses to the reckless days in our lives. These are like little rememberences carved into our body, even through faded marks we can still see traces of the days past and the lives lived.

I can vividly recall the incidents relating to my acquisition of the few small scars on my body, there is an interesting story behind each one of them. Instead of resenting their imperfections, I actually think that they define me as who I am, that my body is individualized by bearing marks of the days of my past. That I have lived, interacted, and ultimately my life, though imperfect in a lot of ways, is not a blank sheet at the end of days.

There is another type of scar, emotional ones. Everyone has them big or small, more or less, and instead of hatred or regret, I think we should take a positive approach and consider them sourvenirs of lessons learnt in Life University!

Spiritual Gifts

I just re-tested my spiritual gifts, and this is what I scored:

17 Craftsmanship -- I luv arts and crafts! :)
15 Prophet
13 Pastor
13 Administration
12 Hospitality
11 Knowledge
9 Music
9 Faith
9 Missionary
9 Wisdom

Last night, a dear friend prayed for me over dinner, and it was very encouraging when she told me that she sees the "marble" in me.. (referencing P. Dave's comment on leadership: "see the marble, not the statue") I pray that God will use me to the max for His glory and purpose, to help me realize my potentials.

Better is one day in Your courts
Better is one day in Your house
Better is one day in Your courts
Than thousands elsewhere

"Cry In My Heart"

There's a cry in my heart
For Your glory to fall
For Your presence to fill up my senses
There's a yearning again
A thirst for discipline
A hunger for things that are deeper

Could You take me beyond?
Could You carry me through?
If I open my heart?
Could I go there with You?
(For I've been here before
But I know there's still more
Oh, Lord, I need to know You)

For what do I have
If I don't have You, Jesus?
What in this life
Could mean any more?
You are my rock
You are my glory
You are the lifter
Of my head
Lifter of this head

This past month, my church preached on a 5 week topical series; the one that stood out the most for me is "Caring for all people". Ever since I came back from my summer missions trip, I feel that God has put this burden on my heart, telling me to open up and be more kind/caring toward others. It was during one of the follow-up studies that I realized I couldn't do this alone. No matter how much I want and am willing to change, certain things just don't come to me naturally. I just don't have that big of a heart for people outside of my immediate circle of family and friends. *Only* when I align myself with God's will, and keep my focus on Him, will I be able to receive the fullness of His grace and love, thus allowing myself to be a conduit for God's love to flow through me...

p.s. Many appologies to my non-Christian friends ignored over the summer, I didn't mean to be MIA for 3 months (you know who you are.. =). Call/Email/IM me and let's meet for lunch/dinner/weekend/hangout to catch up!

Achimede's Prism

(saw this from a friend's blog site)

Hey you course 2ers, what do you think?
http://web.mit.edu/2.009/www/lectures/10_ArchimedesResult.html?kari

wow, I am glad that other people I know outside of my immediate circle of friends watch Mythbusters... guess I kind of fit in in SV. =)

Marvelous Light - Charlie Hall

Verse 1 I once was fatherless, a stranger with no hope; Your kindness wakened me, Awakened me, from my sleep	Verse 2 Your love it beckons deeply, a call to come and die. By grace now I will come And take this life, take your life.
Pre-chorus Sin has lost it's power, death has lost it's sting. From the grave you've risen VICTORIOUSLY!	Chorus Into marvelous light I'm running, Out of darkness, out of shame. By the cross you are the truth, You are the life, you are the way
Verse 3 My dead heart now is beating, My deepest stains now clean. Your breath fills up my lungs. Now I'm free. now I'm free!	Bridge Lift my hands and spin around, See the light that i have found. Oh the marvelous light Marvelous light
Lift my hands and spin See the light within...

Creature of Habit

I stumbled upon an editorial of this phrase today, it's quite thought provoking and I'd like to share this article:
http://www.viewonline.com/pages/editorials/creatureofhabit.htm

Creature of Habit
J. Kevin Tumlinson

I'm a creature of habit. Every morning I get up, stumble to the coffee maker (sweet giver of life), brew my particular brand of rot-gut and then shuffle into my home office where I start working. I write a few pages of this, jot down notes on that, sketch something, work on a web page. The particulars change but the routine stays the same. If you change the routine, I'm out of sorts for the rest of the day.

What is it about routine that makes it so necessary? We complain about it when we've been “in a rut” for too long, and yet after vacations or getaways or mid-life crises we hop right back onboard the Routine Express.

I can't speak for everyone (try as I might), but I know that I need my habits. Most of them, anyway. I need a schedule that I can rely on, mostly to help me just get going each day. When I wake up on a cold morning, with nothing major in the works for the day, the only thing that gets me out of bed sometimes is my routine. That and my driving need for coffee.

But just because I need my work habits doesn't mean I have to keep them forever. A few years ago, it was my habit to wake up at 4 a.m. every morning and write for two hours before going to work. It was an admirable work habit, if I do say so myself. Every morning, the horrid, dreaded sound of my alarm screamed into my brain, got my eyes open and got me up and running at four after midnight . I produced some of the best work of my life during that time. At first, it was tough, and I groaned and had to force myself out of bed. But after 30 days or so it became a habit, and suddenly my eyes popped open before the alarm even went off.

I did that for the better part of a year. Was it because I could only function during that time of the day? No. It was because I had classes and a job that had me on the go from around 7a.m. to sometimes 10 or 11 p.m. If I wanted to write, it was either a late shift or an early one.

These days, though, I'm in a very deep and much desired coma at 4 a.m. I admit, I'm still an early riser, but it's more in the nature of six or seven. Since my schedule has changed, my habits have changed with it.

Sometimes we get into a rut. Our routine becomes a tether, keeping us bound to the same thing every single day. It started out as something useful, something to help us get along, muddle through, keep working towards the prize. Then it morphed into something hideous and heavy and it holds us down. But it doesn't have to be that way. Taking a small break from your routine is enough, sometimes, to recharge the ol' batteries. Or maybe it would be better to re-evaluate your life every now and then, see if the old routine is still necessary?

If you're feeling the “blahs,” and you think your life is going nowhere in a big hurry, maybe you should evaluate your own routines. Of course it will be tough to adjust to a new routine, it always is. It's almost painful to start a new work habit. It feels like you're tearing yourself apart. But hey, maybe that's a good thing. Sometimes, tearing something down is the best way to rebuild it. And if adjusting your daily regimen helps you to re-energize yourself and ditch the “blahs,” then a little discomfort at the beginning is more than worth it.

J. Kevin Tumlinson is the Editor for ViewOnline Magazine at www.viewonline.com . He is a Houston Baptist University graduate with degrees in English and Communications. You can reach him by e-mail at kevin@viewonline.com . He routinely changes his habits.

Picture Window

I opened my window shades today, a co-worker walked by and commented that I have a nice office. wow, you know, I never realized that I actually have a magnificent view from my desk!

The view from where my window is quite picturesque, especially in this cool autumn weather, since our campus is right next to the bay. O, I just saw a bunch of birds flying by, as well as the shady little trail that surrounds our campus. This is totally an added benefit, it helps me to relax when I am all caught up in the daily tasks. =)

I share an office with another Indian co-worker, he complains about the glare reflecting from his screen, we had always kept the shades down. Today I finally realized what I've been missing out on for the past year! I'll have to remember to pull the shades down when he's around. ^_^