Art of Sorry

Caught this on NPR "Talk of the Nation" show today, the "art of sorry"... You can hear the Podcast online, and there's also a blog entry written with comments from readers, some pasted below:

Scusi, Sorry, Pardon, and Other Ways to Channel Patsy Cline, sorry, Brenda Lee

Filed under: Deep Thoughts

If you haven't had to eat humble pie at least once in your life ... well, we just don't believe you. But it's a sure bet that whether you've done anything for which you need pardoning (one time I did, back in the winter of '82), you've most likely been on the receiving end of some good old fashioned apologizing. Here are a few apology genres it's best to stay away from.

1) "I'm sorry if I hurt your feelings." We discussed in the morning meeting today the merits of "if" vs. "that," and decided that "if" was much, much worse. (In general, stay away from conjunctions and pronouns in an apology: ifs, ands, and buts, can really ruin a good thing.)

2) "I'm sorry, but I'm just built that way." Which is really just a fancy way of saying, "I don't do apologies. Wanna bet on it?"

3) "Sincere regret." What is it about regret that sounds the least sincere of all? Also under discussion in our morning meeting -- the importance of actually saying the word "sorry." Regret seems somehow paler then its sorry cousins; it's a feeling, rather then a state of being. Depending on the offense, your best bet is to just dig in and get abject; and "abject regret" sounds like something written by lawyers and/or publicists. (And you know what? You should probably try like heck to get it right the first time.)

Anyway, please comment on worst/best apologies you've received (or -- gasp! --given), and get warmed up for our show on the art of the apology today.

-- Barrie Hardymon

Comment also pasted below:
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After an inane argument about whether the Olympics would be good for Chicago or not, my wife told me that she felt completely unheard and invalidated by my steamrollering her with my reasoned arguments. I felt bad that I'd discounted her point of view, but I also felt confused about how I should handle such discussions in the future. I'm sorry, I told her. I didn't mean to make you feel your ideas weren't worth as much as mine. I think I may have been okay to that point, and then I added, "Would you rather I just agree with you in the future?" Ouch. She told me that she could feel her anger burn when I said that. I learned (again) that it's important, when trying to respond to someone else's feelings, to take the time to make clear that's all I'm intending to do. Don't mix the moment of listening to someone with making a point for how I see the world, nor mix an apology with an explanation, like "what else could I have done?"

Sent by Stanley | 3:23 PM ET | 03-08-2007

randomly stumbled upon this today... guess our ancestors do know something about a well balanced diet... =)

7 Reasons to Drink Green Tea

The steady stream of good news about green tea is getting so hard to ignore that even java junkies are beginning to sip mugs of the deceptively delicate brew. You'd think the daily dose of disease-fighting, inflammation-squelching antioxidants - long linked with heart protection - would be enough incentive, but wait, there's more! Lots more.

CUT YOUR CANCER RISK
Several polyphenols - the potent antioxidants green tea's famous for - seem to help keep cancer cells from gaining a foothold in the body, by discouraging their growth and then squelching the creation of new blood vessels that tumors need to thrive. Study after study has found that people who regularly drink green tea reduce their risk of breast, stomach, esophagus, colon, and/or prostate cancer.

SOOTHE YOUR SKIN
Got a cut, scrape, or bite, and a little leftover green tea? Soak a cotton pad in it. The tea is a natural antiseptic that relieves itching and swelling. Try it on inflamed breakouts and blemishes, sunburns, even puffy eyelids. And that's not all. In the lab, green tea helps block sun-triggered skin cancer, whether you drink it or apply it directly to the skin - which is why you're seeing green tea in more and more sunscreens and moisturizers.

STEADY YOUR BLOOD PRESSURE
Having healthy blood pressure - meaning below 120/80 - is one thing. Keeping it that way is quite another. But people who sip just half a cup a day are almost 50 percent less likely to wind up with hypertension than non-drinkers. Credit goes to the polyphenols again (especially one known as ECGC). They help keep blood vessels from contracting and raising blood pressure.

PROTECT YOUR MEMORY, OR YOUR MOM'S
Green tea may also keep the brain from turning fuzzy. Getting-up-there adults who drink at least two cups a day are half as likely to develop cognitive problems as those who drink less. Why? It appears that the tea's big dose of antioxidants fights the free-radical damage to brain nerves seen in Alzheimer's and Parkinson's.

STAY YOUNG
The younger and healthier your arteries are, the younger and healthier you are. So fight plaque build-up in your blood vessels, which ups the risk of heart disease and stroke, adds years to your biological age (or RealAge), and saps your energy too. How much green tea does this vital job take? About 10 ounces a day, which also deters your body from absorbing artery-clogging fat and cholesterol.

LOSE WEIGHT
Oh yeah, one more thing. Turns out that green tea speeds up your body's calorie-burning process. In the every-little-bit-counts department, this is good news!

no procrastination

Dark and WriteRoom: turn your computer intoa fullscreen typewriter.
Win free download: www.hogbaysoftware.com

Temptation Blocker: block your computer from certain time-sucking programs, such as emails for a set period of time. Win free download: www.sourceforge.net/projects/temptblocker

book: The Now-Habit: A strategic program for overcoming procrastination and enjoy guilt-free play, by Neil Fiore

intelligent design

While driving back to work after lunch, I was tuned into NPR's Science Friday show. The topic today touched upon "Intelligent Design". The terms "Micro" and "Macro"-Evolution were also mentioned during the discussion. However, my take on this is:

we just don't know! And if I don't know for sure, then I am open to ideas from any side. Instead of arguing which theory to teach in schools, why don't they just say "we don't know, but we will present all these theories to you kids, you decide and explore for yourselves."

I mean, after all, there are so many things we are not telling our kids because they are not PC, we should not teach them something we are not 100% sure about, and we should allow the young minds to have the space to explore for themselves.